TUESDAY COME SOONER.

I waited too long to tell you, and too long to realize.

(Technically it's not too late because you haven't died quite yet,) but something about screaming into the void doesn't sound appetizing. I cried driving to Provo today. I smashed my car against a wall that said you weren't coming to Provo. Not today or Ever. I'll walk campus alone and you'll walk the streets with people I'll probably never meet. and it's the way it's supposed to be.

Cause this, money can't buy this. and we, we are something special.

You don't want to mess with a lunar eclipse. You don't want to throw off the rhythm the rocket ships beat in as they pass through your heart. You just want to watch the music.

But open a bottle of the perfect wine too early and you've wasted a lot of value. No, I'm not saying we're the million dollar wedding, I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt to find out. And if we only get halfway there we can split our differences and go back to growing.

3 hand written letters and a box of old T-shirts. I have 3 pictures of you in my room and it's not enough to keep you around. Your mother told me to come visit, and your sister will always keep in touch, but it's not you. it's still not you.

You, who made wonderful synonymous with a smile. You, who was the first to hold on longer than I. You, who made the first hard goodbye and the only person with their own dedicated album. You, who made it all go away and all stand on the front lines at the same time. You, the man worth a weekly occurrence. You, the one I can't stop racing for. You, You, You, the one I have words for.

Words that stuck to the back of my throat like fly paper. Words in the form of thick honey, too sweet and too slow moving. Words that would change things. And that's all I have left now, words for you that I was always too afraid to let walk home alone.