I had an open house after graduation. I invited all my friends.

They didn't come.

They all went away this weekend.

"Oh my gosh we totally forgot to invite you, but you're probably working anyways, right?"

And I can honestly say it was the first time I didn't leak because I felt left out.

I wasn't sad.

I wasn't angry.

I was slightly hurt, but mostly

 just done.

Done with the high school cliques and the high and mighty games. Done chasing a pot of gold they were never going to give. Done with the girls who claim I'm invited but drop the conversation after "cute shoes."

You voted me Prom Queen, and President, and the most competitive senior superlative. 

I was a track team record holder and a cheerleader and I tried so hard to be so nice to everyone.

I did everything I could.
But it wasn't enough for you to want to see me on the weekends. 

You folded me up and put me back on the shelf until Monday morning rolled around and you needed something dark to cover the bloodshot whites.

I never had girlfriends in high school.

 And maybe that's why I was so upset over my boyfriend. 

He was my only best friend because no one else would be.

All I ever wanted was to be your friend.

But when I was looking for someone to call to calm the shock of Monday night, not a single one of you made the list.

I was searching for reliability and it was a closed audition - not that you wanted to sign up anyway. 

My mom wants me to throw an end of summer party and invite all my friends.

But I don't want her to get excited when I know the dusty way they accept my invitations.